In the romantic setting, both men and women, old and young, when meeting their date for the first time, can sometimes, be in a frenzy of emotions, especially when they have no idea what the person will think of them, and how they will perceive them.
Dating can be an exciting experience, but it can be full of several hurdles. It is true that first dates are seen as a grand opportunity to impress our date, but due to the rush of emotions and several other factors, such as our date being awkward, we make certain blunders that can put us in a precarious situation, as well as ruining our chances of having a second date, much less a real relationship with a possibly great person.
These mistakes can sometimes be what we do without realizing, but there are others that we do as a habit. And all these sum up to ruin a date, that could have turned into something actually amazing. This article was written, to create an awareness of some of these mistakes. Therefore, in order to enrich your dating experience, we suggest you read further to gain more insights.
Now, before we dive in to learn some of the mistakes we need to avoid on a first date, we need to clarify a few things, those are some common causes of these mistakes we make on dates, and as such, you need to make sure are well sorted before going out for that date, are we ready?
Possible Causes Of First Date Mistakes
- Not Picking The Right Spot
Most people, due to their nervousness and anxieties, and interest in wanting to please their date, can go to such lengths as selecting a place that is not similar to their turf. By that, I mean a place where they do not feel comfortable. It could be a posh restaurant, a loud bar, or any other place.
Aside from themselves not feeling comfortable due to the setting, their partner might also feel uncomfortable, and as such the date stands a chance to be ruined if a change of scenery does not occur. For meeting your date for the first time, you should know that mistakes are avoidable, and for that to work, you must prioritize the right spot.
Going for the right spot, you must do so with the idea of comfort in mind. Go for a place where both you and your date will be comfortable and content. Honestly, this place does not necessarily have to be an extravagant place, it just needs to be of normal atmosphere, where you both can relax and express yourselves with ease as much as possible.
Places that do not make you or your date comfortable can ruin the moment a lot. As in the moment when your date is feeling uneasy, their uneasiness can get to you, and you might start thinking if you have done something wrong, by the time you realize, you would have indeed slipped up. Therefore, as a person, who wants to win a second date, and also avoid disgraceful mistakes, make sure to pick a cool, and comfortable place.
- Not Being Thoughtful
Not being thoughtful is a sure way to invite red flags and mistakes that can be a huge turnoff for your date. Most people as a habit do not care what others think of them, and as such do not bother themselves to do things a thoughtful person would have done in a moment of realization.
When you are not thoughtful, especially for the fact that, you are meeting a stranger who might turn out to be your life’s partner, you will end up encroaching on certain boundaries, saying and doing things that would ultimately lead you to lose out on a second date.
Being the thoughtful one on a date can win you some points, which might even be enough to cover up some mistakes you must have made prior, or might make in the course of the date. Give thoughtful compliments, if you are a gentleman, open gates, as well as pull chairs for your date. Avoid using some words that might make your date feel uneasy.
All these help to make your date, feel safe with you as well as have a positive perception about you. Such that if you had messed up at the end of the date, she would consider giving you another chance.
- Not Prioritising Comfortable Clothing
One thing that leads most to make mistakes is clothes that don’t make them comfortable. You must know that when you are not comfortable, you tend to blunder a lot. Humans are like magnets, such that, there are many people out there who can perceive energy waves. It is not a superpower, it is a trait.
We are able to know when something is not right. It is more like an instinct. A typical example is how you know when you meet a new person at the workplace and you know that this person does not like you.
So you being uncomfortable in your clothes, may send a different message to them, and make them think that you do not value them, and many other things, unless you tell them that is, and also try to make humor of it, then it might be an entirely different case. Therefore once you decide to go on a date, wear a good-looking garment, and make sure you are very comfortable in it as well. To avoid mistakes as much as possible.
- Not Being Okay, Emotionally And Mentally
Another thing that leads to mistakes on a first date is not being okay in terms of your emotional and mental well-being. Your emotions can speak volumes on a date, as well as your mental state. It may be that you had a recent heartbreak or a dear friend or family has passed on or, generally, you are just not yourself in those particular moments. If that is the case, then you must not bother yourself going on the date.
If you are going on the date as a way to ease your mind and experience a new environment, that is fine, ( but not very fine ) but if it is not the case, you might end up doing a lot of dumb things that will ruin the time of your date as well as wasting precious chances of meeting a possibly great romantic partner.
- Being Full Of Yourself
Honestly, being proud is not a bad idea, but most people are so proud, they think the world revolves around them. It is not good to have a certain level of pride and ego. Due to these egoistic characteristics, people end up overlooking certain basic things such as etiquette, and end up disgracing themselves.
The above are some possible causes of mistakes on first dates, now, let’s get into some of the things that we do on a first date, that ruin our chances of having a second date.
Mistakes To Avoid On A First Date
- Asking Certain Questions
On your first date, you must know that you are meeting a total stranger. It may be that your friends or parents set you two up, but mostly due to the fact that, we are in a digital age, we also meet our dates through several dating apps. Therefore, once you meet this person, you must relate with them alright, share information, and familiarise yourself with each other. But in doing so, you must avoid asking certain questions.
Questions are a great way to go when you want to know more about your date, asking questions will help you to know more than just their names. But certain people go overboard to ask certain questions that make the atmosphere quite weird. A typical example is wanting to know about their ex, or how their mom died, for some, it would be alright, but for others, it would be disrespectful and they would question what rights you have to do so. Below are a few of such questions you must avoid on a date.
- Asking why they are single. ( Very unruly and disrespectful )
- Asking if you are both compatible ( When you just met? )
- Asking if they are with a person or single ( as if they are on a road trip to the cheating land )
- Asking if they want to have kids ( really? On a first date? )
- Asking about their deal breakers ( although, good. But do you want to pretend? )
- Asking why their last relationship went down the drain. ( you want to be a detective? )
- Making Sexual Advances
Not everyone we meet on a date is out for a fling, most people are out for a real connection and ultimately a possible romantic life partner. Although most people may be cool with the idea of having sex on a first date, it does not apply to all people.
Making sexual advances may put you in the smash and pass category, and as a gentleman, when your date has this idea about you, no matter what you do after they have conceived that idea, you are not getting a second date and you would be lucky if you don’t receive a slap on your hands or cheek in the process of such shameful acts. Unless your date is also out for a fling, then, I guess that would be a nice meeting for the both of you.
- Arriving Late
It would be a huge inconvenience for your date, when they arrive on the dot, only for you to arrive thirty minutes later. It is not only disrespectful on your part but also disgraceful behavior. With that, you might end up losing great people who would have made your life perfect. This is a common mistake most young people especially find themselves in.
Being late for a date can speak volumes about the kind of person you are and the kind of life you live. No one would want to spend the rest of their day or evening, or a few months getting to know more about a person who arrives late to a date. Who knows, you might even keep them waiting on the altar on your wedding day. Therefore, avoid showing up late on your date.
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- Having Excessive Screen time
On your first date, you must put your phone somewhere and focus your mind on your date. Doing so will not only earn you some points but will also give your date the impression that, you genuinely are interested in them, just on meeting them for the first time.
Upon that realization, they would not hesitate to grant you another date, eventually, the normal dates would turn into something more serious. Having excessive Screen time will make your date find you uninteresting. And if you had any connection initially, it would be severed by your ignorance.
- Talking About Your Exes
Honestly, this is one mistake that can make your date feel really awkward. Your date does not need to know about your past relationships. Your date needs you to build a connection together, and that is not done by taking lessons from your past experiences.
If you have nothing to talk about, just ask her with a sincerely interested demeanor to talk about herself. Give them the freedom to express themselves. But do not impose on them what happened between you and your exes sometime ago. No, that is a huge turnoff.
- Badmouthing Your Exes
Now why would you want to talk about your exes to a person you just met? And one who is supposed to be your date? And also you badmouth them? Do you have any idea what your date will have about you? It may be true that what your ex did to you was uncalled for and painful. But that is not enough reason for you to give your date a history lesson.
When you badmouth your exes, your date will have one thought in their mind, and that would be that, if they indeed had a relationship with you, you would badmouth them the same if you had the chance, supposing you broke up. Therefore you would lose a possibly great partner due to your ignorance.
- Looking Out For Negatives
When you seek, my dear you will find. And the same applies to when you go out on a date. Do not focus your attention too much on wanting to find red flags and little petty mistakes. As much as you should make sure to go for your Mr. or Mrs. right, you must not be too focused on the shortcomings of your date.
You must understand the fact that people are not perfect. And just as you try to be perfect, your date is probably even trying their best than you are. And in the course of it, they end up getting nervous and slipping up some more.
Because, they definitely would feel your prying eyes at the back of their brains, and honestly, that would not help at all. Therefore, learn to understand that, when you seek for the negatives you find, and the same fact applies to looking out for the good in them.
- Thinking They Are Not The One
How would you know if your date was not the potential partner you have been looking for? Do you look out for the wrong in them? Or do you have a checklist you access them by? This article will not judge you as it is a very good and healthy idea to want the perfect romantic partner. But making that decision on a first date is a very wrong idea. Because on the first date, you get to know your date on a superficial level.
Who knows what interesting things you might find about them on a second third or fourth date? Nobody. Therefore, before you outright decide that your date is not one, take your time and scrutinize them, try to understand them, and familiarise yourself with them.
It does not make you lower your standards, but rather, it makes you a serious person looking for a serious romantic partner.
Final Words
On your first date, a lot can happen, most of which are mistakes. The above are a few of the possible mistakes that happen on first dates. Make sure to understand them, and avoid them. If not, you might lose out on a person who would have been a good mother or father to your kids.
