Your partner is your ride-or-die, like it or not. Whether you’re married, dating, or in something entirely different, the fact remains – you are each other’s romantic partners. And as such, there are moments in your journey when you must watch your mouth and be mindful of the words you throw at your partner.
Whether you’re caught up in a heated argument or just having a casual conversation, some words should never be spoken.
Yes, letting those words out may feel relieving, satisfying, even gratifying in the moment. But have you considered the damage they cause to your relationship? Sometimes, we say things out of habit, brushing them off as no big deal. But to the person you share your bed with, they do matter – a lot.
Conflicts and misunderstandings are part of every relationship. They open the door for growth, helping you learn more about your partner’s triggers, deal-breakers, and emotions. But when certain words come into play, that door slams shut. Suddenly, the opportunity for understanding turns into resentment.
The real danger? These words don’t just show up in arguments. Sometimes, we say them in everyday conversations without realizing their impact. And over time, they change how our partner sees us.
They begin to wonder how they ended up with someone who disregards their feelings, and just like that, a relationship that has survived the test of time starts to crack, all because of words spoken without thought.
So, what are these words that could unknowingly be ruining your relationship? Read on to find out.
Things You Should Never Say To Your Partner
Saying “Nothing”
This word is often used casually when we want to give our partner the cold shoulder. It’s a cover-up, a way to hide our feelings and keep our partner from seeing our vulnerabilities. Telling your partner “nothing” is wrong when, in reality, something is bothering you—it may feel satisfying in the moment, but have you considered how it makes them feel?
If you use this word too often, they may start to believe they don’t matter to you anymore. They may wonder why you won’t confide in them or if you’re shutting them out because you want out of the relationship. And if your silence is a way of punishing them for something they did, be careful—it could backfire in ways you won’t expect.
If something is bothering you but you need time alone to process it, let your partner know. But never tell them “nothing” when there’s clearly something on your mind. You’re not just hurting them; you’re hurting yourself, too. The damage might not be immediate, but once they start seeing this pattern, it could be the beginning of the end.
Saying Something Like, “Why Can’t You Be More Like…?”
This is one of the most damaging things you can say to your partner. It sends a clear message: you’re not enough for me. And nothing stings more than feeling like you’re being measured against someone else.
If something about your partner bothers you, remember this: they were that way when you first met them. You chose them for who they are, flaws and all. Comparing them to someone else, whether it’s a friend, an ex, or even a stranger, can shatter their self-esteem and make them question why they’re even with you.
If they’ve picked up bad habits along the way, that’s a different conversation. Instead of comparing them, talk to them. Express your concerns. If they refuse to change and it’s affecting your well-being, you have every right to walk away. But never compare them to someone else, it’s the fastest way to make them feel unappreciated and unloved.
Saying Things That Remind Them of What They Never Do
It’s frustrating when your partner isn’t meeting certain expectations. But constantly reminding them of what they never do in the relationship is a sure way to invite conflict. When you repeatedly point out their shortcomings, it’s like telling them they’re incompetent and no longer useful to you.
But have you ever considered why they don’t do what you expect? You won’t know unless you ask. Maybe there’s a deeper reason. Maybe they’re struggling with something they haven’t shared. Instead of criticizing them, try having a conversation. Let them open up.
And if they refuse to share, that’s another issue entirely. A relationship should be a partnership, emotionally, mentally, and physically. If they’re unwilling to let you in, then that’s a red flag. But before jumping to conclusions, communicate first.
Using Statements Like, “It’s Your Fault”
Blame is a relationship killer. No one is perfect. No one is always right or always wrong. So when an issue arises, the focus shouldn’t be on who’s to blame but on how to resolve it.
Say one partner cheats, and the other finds out. Instead of spending energy arguing over who is at fault, ask why it happened. What was missing? What led to this moment? Understanding the root cause is more productive than pointing fingers.
Blame only complicates things further. It fuels resentment, deepens wounds, and creates distance between you. Yes, it hurts when trust is broken, but the best way forward is through rational discussions, not emotional accusations. Instead of saying, “It’s your fault,” shift the focus to how you both move forward, together or apart.
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Telling Them Something Like, “No Wonder Your Ex Broke Up with You”
Really? No matter how angry you are, this is a hard no. Why would you bring up something so painful? Relationships end for all sorts of reasons, and digging up your partner’s past like this isn’t just unfair, it’s cruel.
If you throw this line in the middle of an argument, you’re not just trying to win the fight, you’re hitting below the belt. It will make your partner question why you would deliberately hurt them like that. And sometimes, words like these aren’t easily forgiven. This kind of comment can push someone to reconsider the entire relationship.
Of all the things on this list, this is one statement you should never say. It’s degrading, unnecessary, and deeply hurtful.
Saying Something Like, “It’s Your Parents’ Fault”
Bringing family into an argument? Big mistake. No matter how upset you are, dragging your partner’s parents into the conversation is never a good move.
Your relationship is between you two, not their family. Whether their parents did play a role in shaping their mindset, choices, or behavior, throwing blame at them won’t solve anything. In fact, it can create a rift not just between you and your partner, but also between you and their family.
Conversations about family influence should be handled with care. If you genuinely think their upbringing affects your relationship, talk about it calmly and constructively, not in the heat of an argument.
Saying Something Like, “This Relationship Was a Mistake”
Was it, though?
Unless you’re in a toxic, abusive, or completely unfulfilling relationship, throwing this statement out in frustration is reckless. If it was truly a mistake, then what about all the good moments? What about the times you were certain you had found the right person?
If you’re feeling this way because of recent issues, ask yourself: Is this something we can fix? If so, work on it. If not, then be honest and walk away. But using this phrase in an argument won’t just hurt your partner, it will also make them doubt everything you’ve been through together.
Words like these leave scars. Think before you say them.
Saying Something Like, “You Are Useless”
This phrase often comes up when one partner feels like they’re carrying the weight of the relationship while the other isn’t pulling their weight. And yes, that’s frustrating. But outright calling your partner “useless” is a low blow that attacks their self-worth.
If you feel like you’re doing all the work, whether emotionally, financially, or physically, there are better ways to express it. Have a conversation. Explain your frustrations. Set boundaries and expectations.
Resorting to name-calling doesn’t just hurt, it makes it harder to find a solution. No matter how frustrated you are, don’t go there. There are always smarter, more effective ways to communicate.
I have a poem I wrote way back in high school that simplifies this article a lot and here it goes
Words That Bleed❣ – poem by Alex Owusu Mensah
Words like blade🗡, they say can cut deep.❣
I hold my tongue, around the noblest heart♦️.
How easily they hurt
Like the rose, they guard their souls, with mind sharp as sword.
How easily they cry, to the tiniest lie
Or to the wrong choice of words from a careless speaker
Words they say can cut deep
Final Words
Words have power. They cut deeper than any blade, leaving scars the eye can’t see. A careless phrase spoken in anger can linger long after the argument ends. Unlike a physical wound, the pain of hurtful words doesn’t always heal with time.
So, choose your words wisely. Speak with care. Because what you say today could shape your relationship forever.
