As a beautiful young lady, who has probably realized your lifelong goals, and as such has a strong career, you definitely can be described as a ripe juicy tomato. You probably have been on the lookout for a man, a man who will make it his honor to settle down with you and make you his woman.
But in all your experiences of wanting to meet Mr. Right guy’ who will not turn out to be a disappointment, you are proven wrong by a load of guys in the dating pool who are not looking for any real connection with anyone, but just to find a person to enjoy a good amount of sex with, or probably to swindle and manipulate their fortune out of them.
But Are You The Problem?
As far as you are concerned, yes. You must know that you continuously attract the wrong men, which must mean that, there is something you are doing or not doing, that has been causing these issues. It could be how you view relationships as a whole, it could be how you view yourself, and it could also be the fact that you have possibly neglected your values and many others.
But in all, how do you know you attract the wrong guy every time? Is it something they do, or that, you realize at a point that, they are just not the right one you need? Do they disrespect you, do they take you for granted? Or do they disregard your emotional stability? Or do they regard the fact that you need genuine love and affection?
Whatever the case is, it is a good thing to put a stop to any relationship you don’t feel safe in, or that which you feel you are not being valued. And as the saying goes, ‘better late than never’.
To the benefit and your convenience, this article has been made with you in mind, so that you can know some of the possible reasons why you keep attracting men who do not deserve you. If you do want to know more, then do not hesitate to read further to gain more insights.
Reasons Why You Keep Attracting The Wrong Men
- You Have Unrealistic Expectations
Having high expectations for your future potential husband is not a bad idea at all, it actually is a good thing, as it helps you to secure a man who will make you feel content and special. But the problem is, there are some expectations you have of some men that seem absurdly unrealistic, unhealthy, and unreasonable. Most women look out for purely superficial traits, totally disregarding the more important things in a man that can make her a happy woman for the rest of her life. When a typical woman of this day and time wants a man, she wants;
- Him to be tall,
- Him to be dark ( mostly for the African women and some white women as well )
- Him to be rich
- Him to be muscular
- Him to be all about her, among many others. ( and you are probably guilty of at least a few of these )
What you want, you get, and when you indeed get them, you know right away that, although, they were what you wanted, but not what you actually needed to make you happy. But then, you still keep searching for a different personality from different people who have the same superficial traits you are so much endeared to.
And then you realize that you keep attracting the wrong men. These expectations are too unrealistic and also are unhealthy, therefore, you must calm down, prioritize your happiness, and then go for the man, who will truly make you happy. This is not about lowering your standards. No, this is about being smart about the truth.
- Listening To People
You need to understand the fact that, people are not you, and as such do not have the mandate to decide the kind of man you should go out with. If that be the case, then, when you meet a toxic man who will abuse you, will not care for you, who will undermine you in whichever way he pleases, and does many other things a typical ‘ Mr. Wrong ‘ man will do, then I put it to you that they will not be the victim, you rather will be the one to suffer.
You must not let people dictate for you, or tell you the kind of man they think will befit you. It may be true that some people due to their friends and or family were able to meet a great husband and are now happily married. That is not you. You both have different heads and personalities. You must not compare someone’s life story to yours.
You need to start thinking for yourself and start disregarding what those people will tell you. It is good to take the good opinions, however, for the irrelevant ones, throw them away, and start making decisions for yourself. By doing that, you will realize that you have your own clear head to make straight decisions.
- Keeping Wrong Company
Birds of a feather, they say flock together. And your choice of company determines the kind of person you turn out to be in the long run. These sayings are really true. The company you keep will determine the kind of men you will be exposed to.
When you have friends, who are always on the lookout for men with certain standards, you end up picking up their lifestyle. When you have a bad company, they mostly play a very critical role in the kind of man you would want to go out with. All because you do not want to disappoint them. Therefore, you end up with the type of man they recommend for you, who you will later realize was not actually the one who would make you happy.
However, when you finally meet the one you know within your consciousness and understanding, that is the right one for you, they would ridicule you for many reasons, especially when the man is not immensely wealthy, or astoundingly handsome, or basically, the said man does not have any of the superficial traits they would have wanted. Therefore, they would then try to give you several reasons why he is not good for you.
We understand that they want to look out for your happiness. But really? When you know within yourself, that these friends had not had a successful relationship of late? How then are you able to take advice from these people? You must look within your mind and heart and go for the man you know will make you happy. My dear woman, wise up.
Related Posts
- Not Having A Clear And Ideal Kind Of Man In Mind
When you keep meeting the wrong type of men, it possibly means, you do not know who to go for. Before you want something, you must know whatever it is that you want. If not, you will continue meeting men who will just give you a headache.
Having an idea about the kind of man you would want to spend the rest of your life with will serve as your life’s roadmap, or when put correctly, your magnetic compass, that will direct you to the kind of man you have been looking for. And supposing your ideal man has the healthy characteristics that are supposed to make you genuinely comfortable, happy, loved and many more, my lady, I assure you that you will be a happy woman for a long time to come.
- Disregarding Your Values And Norms
As a woman, you must know how special you are. And as such, the fact that you deserve better must not be undermined. Most women when they are desperate for a man, can disregard their values. Also, they throw away their norms in the process. In doing so, they end up with men who do not really deserve them, but due to the fact that, they have disregarded their real values, they settle with these men, and in order to secure this man as theirs, they try to love them genuinely.
But the truth is, after a few months or worse, weeks, they end up realizing the harsh reality – that they were seriously wrong. They end up with a broken heart, and then begin to throw tantrums claiming all men are the same and as such ‘ scums’ ( hello? Are you okay? ) Meanwhile, that is not supposed to be the case.
There are plenty of men who are attracted to your kind of values. Note my choice of words ‘ many men ‘ Yes, there are plenty of men who would love the kind of woman that you are ( genuinely ) but because you disregarded the values that make you the unique and amazing woman that you are, they end up passing you by because they do not see those values in you.
You need to however, know one secret, and that is, that high-value men these days, are looking for a woman, who is true to her values and norms, that they can spend the rest of their lives with. I am a man, myself and I know what I say. But then those (low-value men ) who see how low you have let those values down, and see that you are not true to them, start to make advances and yet, you still think they might be the one, meanwhile, the cycle is about to continue.
- Living A Low-Class Life ( hear me out )
You might not know how important it is that the kind of life you live determines the kind of men you attract. You need to know that, your life is like a billboard post. It talks a lot about the kind of person that you are. And most men determine their soulmates by how they see them to live their lives.
Now when you live a low-class life, you get involved in many things and find yourself in many places. You might find yourself at the club every night, you will meet men you think are great, but will either turn out to be terrible lovers, or it would be the fact that they were out for just a fling, and by the level of life you were living, they think so because they know that you would also be down for it.
And when you realize this, you would think there is something supernatural wrong with you, or that you are purely an unlucky soul that is why you attract the wrong guy every time. But that is not the case. As a high-class woman, avoid certain bad habits, and live your life as a Queen, which you are. And you would meet your king. Just relax and be true to yourself.
- You Have Low Self Esteem
Men are smart beings. Especially the wolves. And as a woman who has lived up to your current state, I am sure you must know as much. Men are creatures, that can read your being and determine how confident you are. And we are very much intimidated by immensely confident women. Not that they would harm us in any way, but that, we won’t get them to do our bidding.
When you have low self-esteem, you get approached by men who do not have any real feelings for you. And since you are not very confident in yourself, your beauty, or your being as a whole, you think it is even a blessing from above that a man would show interest in you. But actually, you must know that it is otherwise. These men will ravage you and leave you. And you would go about saying men are all the same.
Be confident, and they will cease approaching. Not that your confidence alone will deter the much braver and ambitious ones, but you must keep an eye out and see if they have what you really need ( healthy needs, remember ) in a man, who will make you a happy wife and mother.
How To Avoid This, And Meet Good Men?
This is a problem, and every problem is bound to be solved. Below are some ways to avoid this situation and start meeting men, who will value you and love you like you should be loved.
- Respect Yourself
Looking at how special of a woman you are, you must always remember to take your pride into consideration before you go out with a man, you know can not make you happy. Or a man who your divorced friends, or those as single as thou art recommend to you.
Respect yourself by not listening to them, and throwing away your values. Respect yourself also, by making sure you have a healthy standard of a man you know can make you genuinely happy. If you don’t, my dear, you will end up with a series of several different men, who will gladly take you on different forms of rollercoasters, and in the end, you will be back to squared one ( single ).
Therefore, to avoid this situation, make sure to give yourself, the respect that, you deserve. And you will meet men, who will uphold that for you.
- Take Care Of Yourself
Also, another way to avoid this situation is by taking care of yourself, and that falls in many ways. Take care of your physical health, by working out, going to spas, at least several times a week, going shopping, and being happy, take care of your mental health by practicing yoga and or meditations, as well as reading books and stuff.
And concerning your mental health, disregard men you know will give you drama, be sincerely available for yourself and not them. And with time, as you live your life, you will meet a high-value man, who will love you, especially for the fact that, even without a man, you are doing so much for yourself.
- Be Honest With Yourself
Also, to avoid this situation, be true to yourself, your feelings, and your emotions. Understand what you really need in a man, that is supposed to make you a happy wife and mother, but like I always say, make sure they are healthy needs if not, you will end up again with the wrong guy. Acknowledge those truths, and go by them. You would later realize how free and happy that will make you.
- Love Yourself
And before you go out with a man, ask yourself. Will this man love me as much as I do myself? If you see certain things that speak otherwise, then advise yourself. Love yourself, as when you really do, you will get to see people in a new light, and that is when you will see men, who can also love you.
Because although people are good actors and actresses these days, you would at least see some qualities in the man, that would convince you of the fact that, he would be able to make you happy.
Final Words
As much as many many men are scum, I know I’m not a scum, and so are many wonderful, and great men who are out there, looking for a woman that they can cherish and love, and give them the world at their behest. Therefore, give your eyes a good wipe.
If you have had a broken heart, do not bother to sew them together, there is a man out there who will heal it for you, just by his demeanour alone. Also, as much as these people might seem like angels coming down on our mortal world, they are not without flaws, therefore, make sure to note that.
