Managing grief and dealing with loss is often spoken about as if such experiences have strict parameters, implying that you should be “over it” a month or so after such a difficult event. Of course, anyone knows this is hardly true, most of all those who have experienced loss themselves. While time is absolutely a healer, we can’t rush it, and sometimes these emotions need space to process.
If you’re looking for more insights regarding loss and how to find the closure you deserve (unhurried and at your own pace), please browse our website. However, once you’ve used the Hilton Funeral Supply products to curate a beautiful send-off, once you’ve resolved all the administrative matters of caring for your family, and once you have time to breathe once more, now is the real task – structuring your life after loss.
Now, there’s “one right way” to follow this process, but there are habits and practices that can make it easier on yourself. In this post, we hope to help you with a few suggestions for restructuring your life following a loss.
Adjust Your Routines
It’s the little things that can mess with you the most after a loss – like realizing you don’t need to make that extra cup of coffee anymore or seeing their side of the closet empty. The routines you’ve built over years or decades suddenly getting upended can be really jolting and tiring as if having to relearn your entire commute to work that you’ve been keeping up with for years.
Of course, the solution isn’t to pretend your routine hasn’t shifted. Piece by piece, you can gradually adjust your daily routines and habits to your new normal at a pace that feels right for you. That might involve spending more time with a friend, gardening at a local allotment at the weekend, or connecting with family events more. It may mean starting a new job or finding a new creative pursuit. Routine keeps you productive and safe, but it’s wise to adjust it how you need it for now.
Open Up Space
It doesn’t matter if you clear out your home office, sort through old clothes while retaining keepsakes, or just move some furniture around, purposefully opening up physical space for yourself can provide a symbolic fresh start. Note that a fresh start doesn’t mean you’re forgetting your loved one, far from it, just like taking a deep breath of fresh air doesn’t disqualify all the previous breaths you’ve taken.
Instead of having on to random items you no longer need, consider prioritizing keepsakes you can appreciate and love. You don’t have to get rid of everything right away of course but thoughtfully curating the space around you helps establish your new reality and define it for yourself. Being able to do that proactively helps us feel like we have more autonomy in a time when we might feel thrown about by fate and chaos.
You’re Allowed To Have Fun
In the depths of your loss, it’s easy to lose touch with anything resembling laughter, fun, optimism, or a rosy outlook. Does that mean you deserve those things any less? We’d argue no. If you make a conscious effort to step tentatively back into enjoyable activities you like, you might find yourself shedding a smile or having a laugh.
That might mean returning to your weekly book club, going to a fitness class with a friend, or enjoying a comedy night in your local bar. You’re allowed to have fun. It’s tasteless to speak for your lost loved one, but we’d still assume they would love to see you thrive and smile. Almost none of us would wish our close ones to suffer for a prolonged period if we were no longer around. Speak this affirmation each day – you’re allowed to have fun.
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Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone, Tentatively
Now is the time when you may prize comfort and reliability. As our advice regarding routines shows, we absolutely understand and respect that need, and you’re not wrong for holding it. But we’d also recommend trying at least one new experience you couldn’t or didn’t when your loved one was around. This helps you realize that life is still out there, waiting for you, and you get to live yours.
That might involve taking a bucket-list trip, picking up a new sporting hobby, or making new social connections. You might go for that new promotion, or try that new course. It’s all valid if you’re patient with yourself, and it can avoid your world closing into a small ball.
With this advice, you’re certain to structure your life following a loss, despite how hard that can seem.
